Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
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