just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Randomize
