Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
