it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
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