Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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