I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
OH MY GOD I AM DYING. AS I WAS TEXTING I JUST BUMPED INTO A MOTHER FUCKING DEER. I AM SHAKING
Wait...Literally? You hit a deer...with your body?!
I PHYSICALLY RAN INTO IT. I FELT ITS WEIRD HAIR AND I EVEN APOLOGIZED CAUSE IT DINDT REGISTER THAT IT WASNT A PERSON. MORTIFIED.
Randomize
