so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize
