From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
