I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
It was confusing and full of hummus
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
You need Xanax blowdarts
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
Randomize
