are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize