I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
Randomize
