You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
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