as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Randomize
