I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
It's rum buckets o'clock
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize
