Only a mothe r could love this liver
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
Randomize
