dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
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