I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Randomize