bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize
