I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
Randomize
