sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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