When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Randomize
