dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
he laminated a picture of his dick.
Someone shattered a urinal.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
The convent might be a nice break from real life
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
Randomize
