hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize