I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
Randomize