what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
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