We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
Randomize