check it out our google latitudes are spooning
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
Randomize
