Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Randomize
