At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
Randomize
