Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
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