just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
You had me at "let me see your balls"
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
