I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
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