Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
