Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
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