soooo we both peed the bed last night...
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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