i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Randomize
