WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
Randomize
