In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Randomize
