I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
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