Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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