I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Randomize
