You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
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