There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
