I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize