I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
Randomize
