you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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