he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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