Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
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