you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
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