can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Randomize