No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
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