Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
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