i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
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