a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
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