Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
Randomize
