you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
Be still, my beating vagina.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
I will pee on everything he values.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
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