Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
What a dumb baby whore.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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