Pregnant stripper...not hot.
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
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